The bus was silent and very peaceful. My teammates were all on one bus; the staff and other cameramen and media group were on the second bus. Having silence on the bus is kind of crazy when you think about it–a team of 18 to 23-year-old kids getting ready to go to one of the biggest events in our season, the Big Ten Tournament. As we were driving to Indianapolis, teammates were listening to music, playing games, and a big portion were sleeping. After a few hours into the trip, we stopped at a rest station somewhere in the middle of Indiana. We got off the bus and went into the rest area. I was hoping to see food places almost like a gas station but the place was just a shed with holes for urinals. As I walked back to the bus, I saw a vending machine where I was hoping to get some kind of snack. I bought skittles and opened them on the spot. They were so old. They were harder than hard candy. I almost chipped one of my teeth on them. I heard someone yell with a country accent.
“You guys look like jolly green giants.”
Our coach laughed and smiled not knowing what to say back. The guy had an Indiana University hat that was trucker style with rips all through it with jeans that looked like they were handed down four generations and a shirt with some Nascar image on it. Our coach was raised in the inner city of Chicago and was not used to the country lifestyle. In fact, he was probably surprised they did not have a Starbucks. Me, being from a royal farming area in Pennsylvania, was used to it and did not think twice about this interaction. As we were about to get on the bus someone yelled my name.
“Eli.”
As I looked back, I saw coach Howard smiling like usual at me.
“What was that? Jolly green giants? Where are we? We have to go now…”
I couldn’t form any words because I wasn’t thrown off by the dude’s accent or even the weird lingo he was using, so I just shrugged my shoulders and got on the bus. When I got on the bus everyone was happy and talking. The majority of the people that were sleeping were now up and engaging the whole way to the hotel. This set the tone for the whole night of having fun and embracing the trip. As we got to the hotel, we were ordered to go straight to film after a five hour bus ride right after practice which no one wanted to hear.
“Why another film session?”
“Can we lay down first?”
“This is too much.”
So many people were complaining about another film session that no one could keep up with who was talking. All of this was said where the coaches could not hear, of course, but this was the feeling of the whole group. We go to the film session and, as soon as that is done, everyone runs to their rooms to lay down and try and rest after being stuck in a bus seat for five hours. It was a long day for the “jolly green giants.” We all fought to get on the first elevator that came. We squeezed twelve fully grown men into one elevator to the fifth floor. Yet, again, people were hyped up and just ready to lay down.
“Stop touching me.”
“Jump!!!”
“No don’t jump!”
“That’s not cool, stop.”
“I’m not playing.”
There was so much chaos and noise in a five second elevator ride; it was ridiculous. I just remember thinking to myself how happy I was to be a part of this close team and how we handled everything through the season. It felt like nothing could come between us. This group was the closest I had ever been a part of. We got to the room and my roommate , Luke who was one of the closest people on the team to me, asked me, “You got your key?”
“No, I thought you had it?” I asked.
He knew me too well and knew I had my key and was just messing with him. I thought everything was fine and was just trying to have a good time, but he was pissed and wanted to get to his room.
“Eli, I know you have the key, open the damn door,” Luke said.
“Sorry, I don’t have it,” I said jokingly.
He reached in my pocket, took it out, and opened the door, collapsing on the bed. I turned on the TV and started to watch the last game of the big ten tournament that day, which was the Nebraska v. Indiana game. Luke went right on his phone like he always does and got on Twitter. He got out of his bed real quick and was on his knees in the bed with his hands on his head.
“Dude, Rudy Gobert has the coronavirus!”
“No, he doesn’t.”
“Yes, he does. It says he tested positive for the virus!”
I still did not believe him and looked on my Twitter and saw it all over the place. I was speechless.
“We aren’t going to play tomorrow.”
“Bro, I’m staying up all night.”
I thought it was a joke and was just saying it as a joke. We just sat there and watched the game in silence. It was an anticlimactic game, with Indiana blowing out Nebraska by thirty plus. Until, the Nebraska coach had to leave the game with two minutes left and was rushed to the hospital. This is when everything began to feel real to me, but I still kind of thought it was a joke. Everyone on TikTok saying, “It’s corona time,” and making a joke of it. No one really knew what it was or how it worked.
We got a text from our captain saying we have team prayer in his room. We had the whole group there except one player that had already fallen asleep. People were standing around with a few sitting on the bed, all you could smell were farts and smoothies that we had at dinner they brought to the room. It felt like any other prayer we had on the road that year. Everyone showed up and was in good spirit until Luke told the team the news that we found out.
“The coach for Nebraska just got taken to the hospital.”
That threw everyone into different emotional spirals, with some people laughing about it. “He looked like he was going to die.”
“It’s Corona time.”
“We aren’t playing tomorrow.”
“Why did he go if he knew. That’s dumb.”
People were laughing and having fun with the whole thing until one of our seniors said.
“This shit isn’t funny, yo.”
People were silent for a little bit, but then resumed carrying on and having fun and I was one of them. People could not stop laughing and it just felt good to be around each other. We just did not know how much this was going to impact everyone and how severe it was at the time. We went back to our room and, of course, I did not bring my key this time and Luke asked me to open the door and this time I did not have it.
“Dude, I do not have the key,” I said.
“Stop lying,” he said.
He, of course, blamed me for this even though he also had a key that he did not bring. I knew I was the boy who cried wolf and just headed to the elevator and avoided another five-minute conversation about a damn room key. So, I went downstairs and did not see anyone except the front desk worker. Until, I got back to the elevator where there was a person working the elevator so there were limited people touching the buttons. It was the most awkward elevator ride. I did not think it was possible to have a longer elevator ride than the one we had the first time but I was wrong. I fell asleep right away, despite what I said about staying up all night. We woke up at 8:15 and did our morning routine just like we were going to play a normal Big Ten tournament game, but it was not going to be. We got the news we were going to play in front of immediate family only. This was just a weird thought because that is what makes the games so much fun. We go downstairs and have breakfast. Everyone is talking and so shocked we were playing. There was just a mood in the whole team that we were not going to play and everyone was a little scared to play. Some almost did not want to play if there were no fans, but we continued the morning with a walkthrough and film.
Coach Howard addressed the team: “This is new to me, let alone playing with no fans. We will get through this and we came here to play Rutgers and nothing has changed about that. We have to go out there and play basketball just like any other game. The basket is still ten feet and the ball still bounces.”
People still were a little off I could just tell. People were not focused and not even talking to each other we were just going through the motions. It became even more apparent as we got to the gym. We got to the gym and people were warming up, but it just did not feel right. Yet again, we had players making jokes. Waving to people in the crowd which no one was there and pointing to people in the nose bleeds and carrying on. It was only going to be the players tickets and the limited media they allowed in. I was dead silent during warmups where I usually joke around and try to get people in the mood to get ready for the game.
I was told multiple times, “Eli, talk it up. Get ready for the game.”
I just could not get my head straight. I missed what felt like all my shots in warmups and could not get warmed up. There were twenty minutes on the clock and still no family in the stands. I knew something was up and started talking to Luke.
“Where are the parents; are we not playing?” I asked.
Less than five minutes later they made us go to the locker room and called the game. Everyone was mad about it. The Rutgers players came up to me and started talking.
“They knew they were going to cancel the game.”
I joked back at him and said something just to hide my feelings, as I retorted, “At least we got our workout in for today.” He did not give me a friendly look, so I went to the locker room right after that. As we sat in the locker room, no one was talking. Ward Manual then came in and addressed us.
“The Big Ten commissioner as well as the ADs and Presidents of the universities have decided to cancel the tournament. I know a lot of you are upset, but this is bigger than basketball right now and we need to keep everyone safe. This is not the time to be going to bars and large crowded areas and socializing. This is about keeping you safe. This virus is killing people and we have no cure right now. I advise you to stay in and wash your hands and limit the interactions you have. Any questions? Thanks, this is about lives. This is not a game, this is real life,” he announced.
No one said anything, just got ready to get on the bus and head back to the hotel. We had no emotion, it did not feel real yet and people were frozen and could not move or speak. It took forever for everyone to get ready. As soon as we got to the tunnel we were greeted with big cameras as we boarded our bus which did not feel right and kinda pissed everyone off. As we drove back we had a police escort for no reason at all the whole city was a ghost town. It was scary, something out of a zombie movie no one in sight and could go as fast as you want which is unheard of in a city. We stayed that night, but everyone was zombies. No one really talked and just laid around and went to bed. I woke up the next morning and packed all of my stuff I threw on the ground. Luke did the same. I remember everyone getting on the bus and just not saying a word just disappointed in the situation. I am the only one that never brings headphones onto the bus rides. I just like to think and relax my mind, but this time I could not. All I could hear within the first hour was someone crying and blowing their nose. It was one of the seniors, he sat there in a ball crying with headphones in. When I went over there and started talking he did not say anything and neither did I. I just gave him a hug then I spoke to him.
“What are you listening to?” I asked.
“Nothing,” he said.
“Can I see your phone?” I asked.
“Why is that?” he asked.
“I’m going to put a song on,” I explained.
“Which song?” he asked.
“Just wait,” I said as I took his phone and started to play the song we would listen to everyday the year he was my roommate. The phone had drops of tears on the screen so I had to whip them off. The song was from Moana, “How Far I’ll Go.” He smiled but then broke out into more tears.
It was at that moment he realized he will never get to play with this team ever again. I did not say anything else to him the rest of the ride just sat there and tried to picture the first time we met and how far we came. All the memories we had from the first party to winning games together and going to the National Championship game .This hit him like a ton of bricks; we just sat there tucked into two little seats of the bus for four hours. We finally got back but no time on that bus was enough unlike the way there. Those were the last hours we would all be together like that ever. As soon as the bus pulled in front of Crisler arena people were on their way to the airport and just like that the season was over and this team was done. I looked at my teammate that I sat next to and jokingly said “Skeeps?”
He just smirked at me and then walked away and faded as he entered the gym. I got back to my place and sat in my apartment and thought about how this affects people and the people on my team. There was no chance for our seniors to showcase their skills to make it to the NBA off of a good tournament. There is no more time to be spent with this team and everything we worked for was gone in the blink of an eye. This season was crazy, but it allowed me to grow as a person. I faced a lot of adversity, and the memories and bonds that I created cannot be taken away. All I could see was a sign I took from the Bahamas where we won the championship earlier that year and sitting beside that was my final four ring and big ten ring. I could not stop thinking to myself what if we had one more chance? How far could we go?
“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”- Dr. Seuss
Eli Brooks || Ann Arbor, MI || Apr 8, 2020